Lots o' NEWS!!

I have tried three times to post this past week, but between thunder storms arriving and blogger's unusual lack of promptness and speed, it didn't happen quite like I wanted. So here's try three, again, for you all to see.

First, this is difficult to write because my son is running about the kitchen giving himself a wedgie. And enjoying it. I swear it's the heat.

Sales galore! CONGRATS to my friend Stacey for her first sale to Harlequin historicals!! GO STACEY!

My friend Leslie sold another book as well (I'm not sure if I mentioned her Triskelion sale or not, she also sold a short story)--I think she's out of material by now to sell, she's sold so much. LOL. Look for her first sale PRICE OF DISCOVERY out August 1st at Samhain Publishing. I'm sure she has a link for pre-purchasing her novel at her site!

Today is GH day, and my sister writers Mary, The Goddess Athena, Leslie, Stacey, Anna, Beth and Tawny are all up for awards at tonight's Golden Heart ceremony. GO LADIES!!!!!

Tomorrow is racing. K-man is raring to go. Little One had to give up the Furby for Puppy Surprise because Furbys are discontinued. She's heartbroken, let me tell you.

That's enough for one day. I'm off to the bank!

Lazy Monday

OOoh, my Monday is pretty sweet so far. Grandma took the kids overnight for a sleepover. Since she's a sucker for punishment, she has all of the grandchildren and a friend over. Silly grandma. Unfortunately, because there were no children to attend to the senile dog's needs, he got me up to feed, water and turn him out for his morning potty. Of course, he didn't want these items at the same time. He'd wait until I fell back asleep and then poke me with his long wet nose again. He's sleeping now, I should go over and poke him a few times.

Racing was AWESOME! Little One earned her Furby! In case you didn't know, I bribed her with a Furby or a purple puppy if she kept up with her friend Kelsey. Now, you may think this is mean, making a little kid go fast. Let me tell you, I have dirty laundry that can drive faster than that girl of mine. I'm afraid she's going to get sideswiped by one of the faster kids, so I decided to get her up to speed to put a little bribe out there. So she earned her Furby because not only did she keep up, but she PASSED Kelsey on the last lap!

K-man had a good race day, with a fourth place finish. He spun himself out the last lap but was happy trying to steal second position and spinning than settling for third.

The MIL sweater is almost DONE! I'm down to the neck ribbing. As soon as it's done I'll get Julie to show me how to post it. I'm thinking about the next project now.

And I'm working on Men in Belly dance. Yes, men dance too. It's interesting and a little scary.

That's it for Monday. I promise to start blogging more again. It's hard in summer, let me tell you.

Hurray!

We had a great weekend of racing. K-man got his first win! Out of four races, he finished first, second, third and fourth, for an overall finish of second place. He brought home this honking huge trophy--if Julie ever shows me how to load pics, I'll show you.

Today was a most awesome day so far. I painted lovely margarita glasses for my newly published friend Tawny Weber. She's having a drawing for them, so go to her website and see what you have to do to win those beauties. I figured out how to load pictures into the computer from the camera and shipped them off.

Then I grocery shopped. Which doesn't sound exciting, but I did it WITHOUT KIDS. There was no screaming and yelling, begging, pleading, and threats. Not a one. I did warn the grocery boy I might start yelling at him just to make the experience seem more 'normal', and he laughed.

I have written 2 articles about lawn care--have 5 more to do. Rabbit manure has more nitrogen than cow or chicken manure, FYI. I imagine that's why the TelleTubbies have such lovely lawn on their show--if you haven't seen them, they have rabbits hopping about everywhere.

On the knitting front--yes, I've started knitting again. I'm finishing a sweater for my MIL that I started when one of the kids was an infant. So it's at least 5 years old. I'm up to the neck part, which is pretty fun, changing colors. When I figure how to load pics, I'll show you.

AND...That's about it. It's been hotter than hell here--I'm sure I saw the devil standing on the street corner yesterday afternoon. I'm busy feeling happy in the semi-heat of 85 degrees and moderate humidity.

Bye until later!

Well, Crap.

That last post was pretty crappy, wasn't it? I did really try to upload the pictures (because I know you're dying to see my bananas) but I can't figure it out, despite the depth of knowledge and smarts and brains that I possess. I have put a holler out to my right-hand woman, Julie to help me post the pictures (which means I whine and grovel in a pathetic email).

Today is the first day of two day racing at the track. The kids are excited--Little One because she can see Kelsey her friend, K-man because he's gonna kick big kid booty with the kart. We shall see.

I spent last night baking cookies for the event (at 11 pm, after a skinny dip in the kiddy pool that left me refreshed and ready to bake). I got to see Jimmy Kimmel (the ultimate guilty pleasure, because he's on at 12am). He had a very plausible reason for the public not seeing TomKat's Suri baby yet: Tom sold her to the devil.

Yes, Jimmy Kimmel has decided that at some point in his career, Tom made a pact with the devil to give him his first child if he became famous (this was way before Risky Business). So years pass, no kids. Tom adopts, the Devil shakes his head. "Pop out a kid, Tom." So he gets Kate pregnant and they give the baby to the devil to thank him.

For some reason, this sounds sadder and more insane at 8:00am then it 12:00 am. We'll have to chock that up to the scent of cookies and the hour.

Slacker Alert!

OMG, I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week. What a slacker. I'm sure you all thought I finished my ark, loaded up the animals (without the mosquitoes and squirrels, and no moles for Julie) and left. Nope. I'm here, busy sulking.

Why, you ask? First, last week was one of THOSE weeks, where nothing went really wrong, but nothing went really right, either. I ended the week with a whopping 3 lb weight gain (I swear it's water) and doing the luge down the cellar stairs on my butt.

The luge thing wasn't fun. I decided to go down before bed and reboot the laundry (since the pile went from a mountain to a mountain RANGE, it was a good idea). That third step somehow sent me down for the count. The sad thing is I didn't give a delicate shriek, or utter foul words, but I did this "mmmffffwwoooopppp" sound that was really lame. Even DH is like, "What the hell is your problem?" Until he looked up and saw me sprawled at the bottom of the stairs on top of Mt. Dirtyclothes. Then I got a lecture about putting clothes on the stairs to trip on (gee, yeah, how stupid of me) and a gruff, "You okay? You sure?" I could tell he was scared, but damn, he could have a little stair-side compassion.

To add insult to injury--and I'm only telling my Dudes this because it's way embarrassing--I damaged my butt crack. You know that joke that asks, "Why didn't God make our butt cracks go horizontally instead of up and down?" (Wait for it.....) Because when we slid down the stairs we'd hear a 'whap whap whap'...My butt DID THAT. Honest to Betsy. I got turned a little sideways and whap, whap, my butt counted every single stair. I swear it feels a little stretched out now, like clown lips at the circus (only way bigger).

So you understand my week? Do ya?

In better news, K-man got 3rd at the races, which holds him steady in 3rd place for points. The first place kid is the regional points leader and way older, so if he hadn't shown up, K would have been second.

Little One...Well...She raced. And was enthusiastic about it, which is saying something. It's funny when K-man gets the outside pole position (starting in the front) he's cheering and doing the chicken dance (because that's what he does when he's happy--or he does this Egyptian pose thing--he's weird. It comes from his father). Little One got outside pole and had a fit, "But I want to start next to Kelsey!" Needless to say, she's not ready to start on the pole anyway (picture a turtle in a herd of rabbits and you've got her) so she started next to Kelsey and was happy.

Today is the barium swallow for me (keep your thoughts clean, folks, because there will be no dude named Barry there) and an investigation of my small intestine. No camera thing in a pill yet, Dammit.

That's about it. Gosh, this was long winded. Wish me luck as you drink your coffee and eat breakfast. I've been fasting since 11:57 (I had milk and shared a doughnette--little donut thingie--with the senile dog). I'm damned hungry and wanting coffee.

Bye!

'Tis The Season

For fireworks and other pyro delights. We have neighbors on all sides of us shooting off bottlerockets and firecrackers and whatever else they can find that will explode.

Usually, DH will just grumble, "Dammit, it's the neighbors again!" But not this year.

I pause as he's hunkered down in the driveway after a volley of explosions from up the hill. "What are you doing?"

He has this look on his face, one that is primitive and manly and full of testosterone. "I'm firing back." He's got a handful of things with wicks or fuses or whatever, and a lighter.

"Why?" As if I really need to ask. This year, he has his own stash of stuff so he's ready for the holidays early instead of going to Sam's Club at the last moment and paying out the nose for 5 sparklers and something called 'Golden Shower'.

He fiddles with the lighter which needs a PH.D. and an octopus to operate. "They're shooting at us! I have to defend the boundaries."

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Please tell me you have no weapons of mass destruction in the basement."

He laughs evilly, and I leave to get French Fries (DH was certain I was going to pick up some French guy. :::snort:::). Of course, coming out of the supermarket were hordes of people carrying fireworks and beer. The little ones carried the fireworks, of course. You can't carry beer until you're 21. When I returned the house was still standing and protected from enemy fire. Thank goodness.

In other news...

I'm going to start posting my weight loss results. Yes, I've decided to hunker down and loose some flab before someone declares me my own nation and gives me a zip code. The only cool thing about being fat enough to be a nation is getting your own flag and song. Athena's music boy can write me my anthem. I'm artistic, so I can do the flag. I'm thinking a blue and green sort of theme, maybe a horse on it, some flowers... It's all hazy. Anyway, it won't matter because I'm going to lose the weight, finally.

So weight loss for this week: 1.6 lbs, which is 6 sticks of butter! Go me! I have lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 lbs, but stupid Weight Watchers only counts from your starting weight, not the weight you gained on their program (yes, I'm a dunce, I gained like, 5 lbs). However, I'm going to do my weight lost INCLUDING what I gained, going from my fattest moment. I'll update that in the next post. I must find the little booklet.