Slacker Alert!

OMG, I can't believe I haven't blogged in a week. What a slacker. I'm sure you all thought I finished my ark, loaded up the animals (without the mosquitoes and squirrels, and no moles for Julie) and left. Nope. I'm here, busy sulking.

Why, you ask? First, last week was one of THOSE weeks, where nothing went really wrong, but nothing went really right, either. I ended the week with a whopping 3 lb weight gain (I swear it's water) and doing the luge down the cellar stairs on my butt.

The luge thing wasn't fun. I decided to go down before bed and reboot the laundry (since the pile went from a mountain to a mountain RANGE, it was a good idea). That third step somehow sent me down for the count. The sad thing is I didn't give a delicate shriek, or utter foul words, but I did this "mmmffffwwoooopppp" sound that was really lame. Even DH is like, "What the hell is your problem?" Until he looked up and saw me sprawled at the bottom of the stairs on top of Mt. Dirtyclothes. Then I got a lecture about putting clothes on the stairs to trip on (gee, yeah, how stupid of me) and a gruff, "You okay? You sure?" I could tell he was scared, but damn, he could have a little stair-side compassion.

To add insult to injury--and I'm only telling my Dudes this because it's way embarrassing--I damaged my butt crack. You know that joke that asks, "Why didn't God make our butt cracks go horizontally instead of up and down?" (Wait for it.....) Because when we slid down the stairs we'd hear a 'whap whap whap'...My butt DID THAT. Honest to Betsy. I got turned a little sideways and whap, whap, my butt counted every single stair. I swear it feels a little stretched out now, like clown lips at the circus (only way bigger).

So you understand my week? Do ya?

In better news, K-man got 3rd at the races, which holds him steady in 3rd place for points. The first place kid is the regional points leader and way older, so if he hadn't shown up, K would have been second.

Little One...Well...She raced. And was enthusiastic about it, which is saying something. It's funny when K-man gets the outside pole position (starting in the front) he's cheering and doing the chicken dance (because that's what he does when he's happy--or he does this Egyptian pose thing--he's weird. It comes from his father). Little One got outside pole and had a fit, "But I want to start next to Kelsey!" Needless to say, she's not ready to start on the pole anyway (picture a turtle in a herd of rabbits and you've got her) so she started next to Kelsey and was happy.

Today is the barium swallow for me (keep your thoughts clean, folks, because there will be no dude named Barry there) and an investigation of my small intestine. No camera thing in a pill yet, Dammit.

That's about it. Gosh, this was long winded. Wish me luck as you drink your coffee and eat breakfast. I've been fasting since 11:57 (I had milk and shared a doughnette--little donut thingie--with the senile dog). I'm damned hungry and wanting coffee.

Bye!