My Third Child...

Actually my fourth child, since the senile dog considers himself the first born...Is a Tamagochi. It's named Tally, it's a girl, and at this point it looks like a worm with a clown nose and mustache (it morphs every cyber year or so--two days ago it looked like a black chocolate kiss with arms and legs). If you don't know what I'm talking about, Tally is one of those little mechanical keychain toys where you get a cyber pet to feed, clean up after and play with, so it won't die. Well, K-man has one, and it's not dying on my watch.

Unfortunately, it's now an obsession because the maternal instincts won't let go and allow the kid to just KILL IT. It would be a probable thing, because every time I pick it up it's hungry and crying it's eyes out because it's sad from neglect. I don't like crying, hungry things-it makes me nervous, like the Tamagochi police might come and take custody of the thing. So I check it to see if it's hungry (he likes sushi!) I check it to see if it has pooped. Yes, it leaves this big stinky pile in the corner, and if you don't clean it it gets sick and you have to take it to the doctor for a shot.

It goes to bed at 9:00 at night, so Sunday after the races (8:54ish) I was in high demand. To DH: "Go out and get Tally from the camper." Him: "Why?" Me: "Because it goes to bed at 9:00 and I have to feed it, play with it and make sure it doesn't crap before bed or it will be sick in the morning." He blinked, and shuffled out to retrieve the thing, because he's slightly germaphobic, and the thought of it sleeping in crap, cyber or not, was probably too much to bear.

Even RIGHT NOW, as I type this, I am inquiring about the damned thing. K-man is in the living room now, checking on Tally's needs (and letting the senile dog out for the fifth time today. For some reason, he is acting like our house needs a revolving door on it, like a hotel). It's still asleep in it's little bed, snoring Zzzzz's in a crap-free environment.

My only hope in live is that the thing will grow up and find a mate, have it's own egg and move away. YES, even Tally will find a mate. And if it doesn't, you can ask the Matchmaker to set it up with something (nothing like a little cyber arranged marriage) so it can grow and leave the nest. I'm hoping it takes less time than 18 years because I don't know how much more of this stress I can handle. I'll let you know when to send shower gifts for my fourth child.