I Want To Become...

A nudist. Yes, you heard me right. After scaling Mt. Laundry down in the laundry area and trying to figure out how to get ahead, I decided it would just be easier to move to a nudist colony somewhere and go without clothing for awhile.

Then I got to thinking...What do nudists do when it's 'that time of the month'? They'd have to wear something or it's get pretty nasty in nudist land. Then that led to the thought of me getting into a disagreement with some redneck, loudmouth man nudist about something, and he'd look at me and say, "So what's your problem? Oh wait...It's obvious." Meaning, PMS. Then I'd have to kill him for his rudeness, (and from suffering from raging PMS) and I would end up in jail wearing an orange jumpsuit or white with horizontal black stripes. Both are mega unflattering. I think we have orange jumpsuits up here. :::shudder::: I'd also probably end up working in the laundry room, washing nasty inmate orange jumpsuits, All. Day. Long.

So I don't want to be a nudist anymore. I'll go do my laundry because there's no email in jail, dude. We couldn't have that, now could we?