WHY?

When my dryer rips holes in my clothes, why can't it do something productive and lucrative, like rip a picture of Jesus or Elvis into my sheets? Let's visit that thought for a moment. I could sell the ripped sheets on eBay and make oodles of money like the dude that sold the grilled cheese with Jesus' face on it. That would be WAY cool. Then, the herds of the faithful would flock to see my blessed dryer. I'd let them try to make their own inspirational ripped laundry. Of course, it would ONLY work if they used MY dirty laundry, so I could have a little Tom Sawyer thing going with the huge laundry pile. Then my kids could sell cookies and lemonade to get extra money. It would be one heck of a good time.

But no, not in MY dryer. ::sigh::: I guess I have to go buy new sheets. I hate that dryer.